Sunday 17 October Ride to Salt Shack Café Hayling Island

The group gathered at Chichester Cross at 10.00 for the start of the ride led by Arthur. Lynn joined the Group later. Also at the Cross were myself (Edwin), Maureen, Bob, Rosemary Burfoot, Jason Downs, Martin Hind and Graham Annally so 9 in all out on the day. Sorry no pictures due to a technical problem with the Phone. Weather was warm and dry up to 16C

We headed out via West Street and then on via the bridge over the railway to Fishbourne. Then we picked up Clay Lane and on via lanes near West Ashling to stop for elevenses at The Woodnmancote with large portions of cake.

While everyone else went on to the Salt Shack Hayling for lunch I turned back for home from The Woodmancote. I took a less direct route home to avoid the large amount of mud on the Bognor Chichester Cyclepath alongside the main road cause by an inconsiderate farmer running tractors between fields along the cyclepath.

See the picture below by Member Adam Bell and placed on Facebook.

Edwin Jones

Ride to Hayling Island

Episode two

As Edwin points out we went down West St and over the Fishbourne bridge to pick up Clay Lane, but I felt he did not do justice to the innovatory nature of the route, as far from turning right into Clay Lane directly from the Fishbourne Road, Arthur took us under the bypass, along the cycle path next to the Roman Palace, turned right into Salthill Road and left after the level crossing to go up to Clay Lane. Apart from avoiding the unpleasant junction between Clay Lane and Salthill Lane, it was a revelation that a route I’ve done frequently returning to Chichester was possible in the opposite direction without at any point having to cycle backwards.

At the Cross there had been an enquiry, I think from Edwin, about where we were having coffee, which had left Arthur bemused, as the chances of him passing the Woodmancote without a coffee have been officially rated as lower than the chances of the Highways Dept mending a pot hole, that is to say it has been known but you have to believe in reincarnation to expect to see it twice. So stop we did and sadly, as Edwin has described, he had to leave us there, but the rest powered on through Westbourne and so down the old railway cycle route. There we encountered lots of people out with dogs, most of which were under reasonable control but one dog, obviously competing for Stupidest Dog of the Year, with owners supporting the dog in this endeavour by acting as role models, decided Graham’s bike was shaped a bit like a bone (knobbly bit at each end) and was therefore a good thing to play with. Graham decided to save the dog’s life by putting his own at risk, a generosity which might be reciprocated by Stupid Dog-and-Owners being more careful in future, but on the other hand might… just possibly… not be.

Once Graham had recovered we continued as usual over the Bridge of Death before reaching the sanctuary of the marina and Salt Shack Cafe, where Lynn joined us after what must have been an impressive ride to catch us up. They do good fare at said establishment but warn very reasonably that they do not do fast food, but good food slowly. That meant waiting for my takeaway salad for a bit and taking it to the picnic tables where the Peloton was established. I was appalled to see that no-one else was eating, though Maureen at least has a tendency to bring sandwiches so there may have been some lunching while I was waiting for mine (I keep myself calm with that reassuring thought). Possibly also the large cakes at the Woodmancote mentioned by Edwin might have helped in achieving what I feel confident in estimating as a 100% survival rate over lunch. At any rate the salad I had bought was excellent, though eating it was a two man job, me eating and Arthur holding the box it came in on the top of the table rather than on the lawn where it was trying to go.

Over lunch we formed a committee to review Road Safety for Cyclists and with Maureen acting as Expert Witness we came to the unanimous decision that the safest thing to do was to be a woman. Several of us felt a little challenged by the adoption of this tactic, especially those of us with beards, but I’m sure it was the right decision, and will doubtless be put to a vote at the next AGM.

We returned the traditional way, at least at first, past the beautiful Langstone Mill Pond and back via Westbourne again. But at the right hand turning after Edith Cottages Arthur again introduced dangerously radical innovation and carried straight on. This enabled us to discover that someone has nicked West Ashling Pond, just a trickle of water into a largely empty space, which is either outrageous or impressive depending on whether you are a duck.

I sadly had to leave the group there as I had to get back for a family Zoom thing, and my departure was made all the more abrupt by an urgent need to do something that I think might have filled up West Ashling Pond again had I stayed. Instead I stopped by a ditch along Clay Lane and filled that up, enabling the Assembled Company to catch me up, so I had to leave them a second time. I thus do not know exactly how the adventure ended, but if I were a betting man I would lay odds on a stop at Fishbourne Roman Palace for tea.

Bob

Sunday 10 October Long Ride to Coldwaltham

We had a good turnout for the ride to Coldwaltham on Sunday 10^th October, with eight of us meeting at the Cross for a performance of:

COLDWALTHAM. A Tale of Overcoming Adversity in three acts.

Cast

Alan in the role of Leader Who is Not Quite Sure Of The Way;

Sam in the role of Person Actually Leading But Moaning About It;

Paul in the role of Hero Who Has Half Crippled Himself Riding To The Ends Of The Earth;

Maureen in the role of Sensible Person Who Brings Lunch Just In Case;

Adam in the role of Person Who Knows What He’s Doing with a Bike;

Harvey in the role of Steadying Influence Among The Vicissitudes of Life;

Roger in the role of Someone Who Doesn’t Want Lunch Anyway, and

Bob (me) in the dual role of Person Who Is Falling To Bits And With a Bike Doing Likewise and Person Who Gets Harassed by Sam into Doing The Ride Report Even Though IT WASN”T MY RIDE, and come to that WASN’T EVEN SAM’S RIDE.

Chris also looked in to say hello on his way to Ring Them Bells (ref. Lisa Minnelli) at the cathedral.

Act 1

Once our respective roles had been assigned by the Great Cyclist in the Sky we set off eastwards, bound for Walberton Pond, during which Paul and I hung back a little while I heard the rather inspiring tales of his recent LEJOG ride. We didn’t stop at Walberton but hurtled onwards up the A29 to Whiteways, down Bury Hill and turned right through Bury. My bike was creaking in increasingly alarming ways, and as we were going along I remembered that I had had a new gear cable for my hub gears fitted, which might have stretched, and my suspicion was confirmed by Adam, fulfilling his role as we rode to Amberley coming up level with me to say “I think your gears need adjusting” and kindly offering to look at them when we stopped. I was relieved at this, as I had last adjusted them myself about 7 years ago, which information caused Adam to fall about laughing hysterically, thus giving me the suspicion that he was more suited to the role of Person Who Knows What He’s Doing With A Bike than I by a margin of about 100 miles.

And so we arrived at Wiggonholt, first time I think since the Great Plague began, and blundered about looking for the New Way of Doing Things, which involved going to a kiosk desk near the shop rather than the old cafe entrance round the back, not getting any hot food as they hadn’t had a gas delivery, and taking our coffee back again to the tables overlooking the bird sanctuary. As we went to go Adam pulled my bike out to adjust the gears, which he did in spite of me interfering with completely inaccurate information misremembered from 7 years ago, but in the process of which he found the chain was also about to split, one link only holding it, as it were, by a thread. After two goes, much grease and a spare link and associated tool kindly provided by Paul the chain was repaired and the very good soap provided by the RSPB in their loos much appreciated.

Act 2

The repair made the rattle pretty much better, but it was still there a tiny bit, as my bike, miffed at being left out of the original Casting for the Ride, had adopted its own role of Source of Multiple Problems So That If You Think You’ve Solved Them You Haven’t Seen Anything Yet, Laugh Laugh, but this wasn’t to become evident for a while. But emboldened by the success of the Multiple Repair I briefly took the lead for the Westward Ride to Coldwaltham, passing on the way the Greatham Poetry Box where although we didn’t stop I composed, as Temporary Leader, a short masterpiece as we rode:

Roses are red and violets are blue,

We’ve just passed the Telepoem Box but not stopped to write a proper poem.

Pleased with this Creative Moment, we arrived at Coldwaltham, where Roger left us but the rest survived the horrible junction to reach the pub, salivating at the prospect of the delightful fare awaiting us. And there in the back garden were Adur and Arun, complemented by our own Chris who had Rung Them Bells and made his own way there. Retreating to the front of the pub to tell of this unexpected company however our delight was instantly shattered as my bicycle, eager to heap more trouble on us, had been in secret negotiation with the pub, and so The Man told us that although they were serving lunch they weren’t going to give us any as we hadn’t booked.

So we greeted this in a calm, measured and mature way by pointing at Adur and Arun and saying THEY GOT LUNCH AND THEY DIDN’T BOOK but apparently that was ok as they had arrived early, but we couldn’t have any.

Maureen then said she’d brought some sandwiches Just In Case, failed totally in her effort to Not Look Smug, and went to join Adur and Arun.

At this point my stomach intervened in the situation in a calm, measured, mature way by screaming I WANT LUNCH, I WANT LUNCH in my ear, so that further conversation became impossible. So I said I was going into Pulborough to buy some sandwiches for the Hungry Element, in a frantic effort to calm my stomach which was in no mood to be calmed.

But then Alan, who was feeling unnecessarily bad because he didn’t know we needed to book (neither did anyone else), and had been conducting High Level Negotiations, emerged excitedly to announce that it was All Alright, as Adur and Arun had told the pub we were coming, so effectively we were booked. You can imagine the relief.

Then The Man appeared with a long complicated speech I couldn’t quite hear saying they had to prioritise and plan something, and only had capacity for something, and something or other else. So I went on the sound of him and said “So we’re not getting lunch?’ and he said “Errr…. no”

At this point the calm, measured, mature messages from my stomach adjusted slightly to the new situation as it started to scream “I WANT LUNCH AND I’M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE”.

So to forestall this Undesirable Eventuality I repeated my intention of getting a supply of sandwiches from Pulborough, and Alan said he’d come with me.

So off we set. And 30 seconds later The Man appeared and said we could have up to two lunches after all. The Hungry Element said they tried to ring us but couldn’t get a signal. Hmmm.

Harvey had supplied helpful directions to Tesco, but his information had been drowned out by my stomach shouting KILL! KILL! KILL! in my ear, so we went to the corner shop I knew on the High street and randomly gathered up sandwiches and snacks. My bicycle actually became helpful at that point as I used my slightly disgustingly named Nelson Longflap saddle bag to fit it all in, and back we went to find Sam snoring contentedly beside the remains of his full roast lunch. I sat stuffing foodstuffs into my stomach which slowly became less lethal, enabling me to begin noticing my surroundings again and surveyed the scene of the atrocity. Several of the group were still alive it seemed, as we gobbled up most of the somewhat mediocre snacks, but Adur and Arun were by then about to leave and the Hungry Element had barely said hello.

Act 3

So the lunchtime break came to a ragged end, we said goodbye (in lieu of having said hello) to Adur and Arun, and set off up Waltham Park Road intending to stop at Bignor Villa for tea. By then my bike had regained its awful creaking sound, which I think was partly because I had adjusted it while going along, but in the opposite direction to the one suggested by Adam (I never could tell my left from my right), so worsening the gear problem. But frustrated at being forced to stay together it passed responsibility for achieving Total Collapse to my back, which I injured a while ago but which had been pretty ok while riding up to then, only hurting when we stopped. So now it started hurting while riding, and the combination of feeling more and more crippled while trying not to Strain my Chain hit me rather badly. We did stop outside the Bignor entrance, but then inexplicably carried on, which led my stomach onto minor versions of IF I DON’T GET TEA I’M GOING TO DIE but they were somewhat subdued by having had a lunch that was decent in quantity if not quality and by me having to concentrate on keeping up. It turned out however that a decision had been reached to stop at Graffham rather than Bignor, which would allow us to go up Cocking Hill rather than Duncton, which was indeed a lot less strain on my back and my bike.

So we sped down the last bit of Duncton, completely empty due to the road closure and went to Graffham shop, where everyone got take away coffees or teas but I was afforded Special Status for some reason and served mine in a china cup, showing what an important person I am. Chris, who had accidentally been riding in the vicinity for that brief section left us again to Ring More Bells (at Walberton), so the remaining Magnificent Seven, having overcome Backs, Chains and Zero Sum Lunches, heroically Defeating Adversity, together rode (magnificently) back via Cocking, only fragmenting at Lavant.

So many many thanks to all, especially Adam, Sam and Paul for keeping my distinctly ailing bike on the road for a lot longer than my bike had planned, and thereby allowing for a lovely 56 mile ride snatched from the jaws of something or other. As Lisa Minnelli wonderfully put it:

“Ring them bells, come on, come on, ring them bells
Make ’em sing, you’d better ring the bells
It’s such a happy thing to hear ’em ting a ling
You gotta swing them, ring them bells”

Bob

Saturday Ride from Chichester Library to Shoreside Cafe, Bosham Saturday 9th October 2021

On a glorious Saturday afternoon of sunshine, a small group of three of us gathered at Chichester Library for a ride to Shoreside Cafe in Bosham: Philippa Neville (leading), Edwin Jones and Dawn Latimer.

The group set off and we made our way towards West Street and Westgate.  Crossing over the roundabout at Westgate, we continued down towards the footbridge over the level crossing into Fishbourne Road East.  The route then continued under the A27 and along the cycle path past Fishbourne Roman Palace and soon emerging onto the A259.  A left turn was then taken down Old Park Lane providing much relief from the busy traffic.

The original plan for the ride was to cycle around Bosham Hoe and take in the timeless view from Shore Road across to Bosham Quay; however, this wasn’t practical as a particularly High Tide had been forecast.  

Instead, at the first t-junction, the group headed north, taking Taylor’s Lane and then Bosham Lane into the village.  Interestingly, at that point, we met up again with two cyclists who had sped past us earlier in the direction of Bosham Hoe, but whom had been forced to turn back by the High Tide!

On arrival at Shoreside Cafe, we met up with Roy Wasdell, who had cycled up from Emsworth to join us for tea and cake.  Discussion took place regarding the best route back to Chichester.  As High Tide was very much still in evidence, it was decided to again avoid cycling around Bosham Hoe.

As an alternative, it was decided to head back along Bosham Lane, where we said ‘goodbye’ to Roy at the junction with Delling Lane.  The remaining three members of the group then continued into Walton Lane and then Chequer Lane onto the A259 cycle path back to Chichester.

The time of arrival back in town was approximately 3.30 pm.

Philippa

Sunday 3rd October. Short Ride. Ceasefire Café Yapton

The ride to Yapton started at 10.00 at Chichester Cross led by Arthur and joined by myself (Edwin) and Maureen. We were joined by Lynn at elevenses and joined by Harvey and John Maxim at lunch.

Weather was cool especially to start with about 15c but mainly dry and sunny save for a couple of very short light showers on the way back.

We were headed towards Tangmere for elevenses so headed in the opposite direction for a better route. We went via West Street and then past a Road closed sign to the road leading to the Centurion Way. As we went  up the Centurion Way we passed more and more runners coming towards us taking part in the Chichester Half Marathon .

At Lavant we rejoined the road heading to East Lavant and then the Goodwood Straight before heading south to Westhampnett before taking the cyclepath down the old road to cross the A27 on the flyover and on to Tangmere to take elevenses at the Cockpit Café, Tangmere Museum.

Then it was on the cyclepath across Tangmere Airfield and on backroads to pick up the Oving Straight with a tailwind for a change. Then on via Eastergate, Barnham and Yapton. Then on via the Yapton Road to the east side of Yapton to the Ceasefire Café.  This is linked with a firing range and a first for the Club. The food was good and very good value

For the return we went our different ways. My mileage from home was 30.

Edwin Jones